I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
