Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
