Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
pop tarts are not kleenex
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
