i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Alive.
So much puke
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
