just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
there is glitter all over my balls
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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