Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
