just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
