Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
