Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Pooping to opera.
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