i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
