I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Your cock deserves a montage
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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