can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
