tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we made out on top of his cat.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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