Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
