In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
