he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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