I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
