Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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