Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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