There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?