WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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