WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.