I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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