You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
