You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
