I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
