Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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