I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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