at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
