Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
