woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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