I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
