Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
