I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize