: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
