this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
