Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
