i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
