Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
