I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am available for nakedness
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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