i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
