Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
