Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
