This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
