i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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