I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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