no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
