I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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