I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
