Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
