Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
