You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
