i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
