it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
this is an emotional support booty call
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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