This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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