His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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