2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
