why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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