i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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