Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
