I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
