booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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