Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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